Don’t want no dishwasher!

Some segments of the country seem to be obsessed with dishwashers — dishwasher designers, dishwasher manufacturers, advertising agencies for dishwasher manufacturers, stores selling dishwashers, and people who think they need a dishwasher. What a bunch of horse hockey! I am of the opposite opinion. They constantly tell you how much money and water you will save if you use a dishwasher instead of the good old sink! I lived in a very pleasant apartment in Lexington for 20 years. I had what I always described as a small dining room next to a “one-butt kitchen”. Oh, wait! I had a cat then who would have disagreed with me. He believed it was a “one-woman butt and a one-cat butt” kitchen because that was where he had his meals.

I kid you not, the counter space in that kitchen was no more than a foot or so on one side of the sink and about twice that on the other side. Folks, counter space was at a premium. There was no space in which you could install a dishwasher. Besides, one end of the counter almost led into the stairway down to the basement. The only saving grace was an oak rolling cart that I could use in the middle of my tiny kitchen floor. Thank you, Mom; that was a great Christmas present. Hey, we take what we can get, right?

Back in those days I had people over for dinner fairly regularly. Even though I couldn’t put in a permanent dish washer, I found out I could have a roll-around portable dish washer. I hated doing dishes (and I still do) so I bought one of those suckers. Guess what! I hated loading and unloading that annoying thing worse than what I had to do to clear dishes in the dining room, wash them in my one-butt kitchen, and put them away. I sold it to a friend. Never again! No dishwasher! When I moved back home to Casey County and built my house in 1995, I decreed there would be NO DISHWASHER! My kitchen prep and cooking area is relatively small, much like my “one-butt” kitchen in Lexington — BY DESIGN! It’s convenient, it’s practical, it’s easy to navigate, I love it. It doesn’t have space for a danged old dishwasher! The rest of the room, which isn’t tiny, is the dining/pantry/storage/mess area and no, there will not be a dishwasher in my lifetime!

Why do I really think dishwashers are not necessary? Let’s go back to my childhood when I annoyed the heck out of my younger brother and sister. I was a know-it-all pissant of a big sister. Just ask them! My apologies to both of them.

Well, my brother helped with farm stuff but my sister and I were the ones who cleaned up after a meal and DID THE DISHWASHING AND DRYING! Remember that! Back in those days we did not have running water or any form of plumbing except the “run out to the well and pump a bucket of water” plumbing. Mom did the cooking (drool) but my sister and I usually had to do the dish washing.

I digress — it’s a Sophia Petrillo moment. Let me remind you again that I was a know-it-all pissant. Keep that in mind. We had two big aluminum dishpans (if you ever see them at an auction or an antique store, buy them — more about those later). One was for washing the dishes and the other was for rinsing them. Mom boiled water from the well outdoors and put it in the first pan with soap. When the dishes were scrubbed, they went into the second dishpan. Mom poured boiling water over them then they were put in a rack to be drained and then to be dried with a clean dishcloth and put away.

Okay, picture it: one know-it-all pissant and one younger “let’s get it overwith” kid. There we were washing and drying dishes. If the younger one did the washing, she invariably didn’t get all the bits of the former meal off them. If the older one (me) were doing drying, I’d go nuts and make a fuss about it. There were many dishes put back in the washing dishpan when I was the one doing the rinsing and drying. Dang, I told you I was a know-it-all pissant!

When I think about things that were important in my life and the things that weren’t, a dang dishwasher is not important but my sister and my brother are. I just wish my sister were a know-it-all pissant when it comes to washing dishes. Beats the heck out of a dishwasher, doesn’t it? What a hoot!